song 187

 Song 187

Hello everyone, welcome back to the blog! I have been in pain, because I have a freaking ear infection again! And they suck so much, I'm gonna give you some advice not just for you. But for myself too. Take care of your ears, and don't wear your headphones for long periods of time. That is the root of my problem, I am going to try harder to only wear my headphones when I need them, and not wearing them for too long. As an autistic person I wear my headphones very often, but they also cause me pain. I might need some new ones honestly. But after going through this kind of ear pain again, I know I need to take better care of my ears. But just because I can't wear my headphones right now, doesn't mean I haven't found songs. Today's song is Why Did I Stay? By Benjix a relatively newer artist. His first single came out in 2019. I guess he's also done some silly songs in the past. But this song is more serious, and it grabbed my attention. This song hit hard. So without further adieu, let's get into it. 

There isn't an intro, actually the intro is the chorus with this song. So I'll save that part for when the chorus comes up. A really catchy melody though. After this part, we have a little instrumental section. Very nice, very I think 2010s pop punk almost type of vibe? If that makes sense. The first verse: "I thought that maybe if I waited, you'd wake up and feel it too. But loving someone who's uncertain only ends in losing you. I tore my heart out just to wait, you watched me fall then looked away. You never lied, that hurts the most. You held me close then you let go." Pretty heart breaking huh? I feel this man. The chorus: "Why did I stay, when you never said stay? Why did I hope when you just pulled away? Why did I love, when you weren't even there? If you never loved me, why'd you act like you cared?" I have asked at least one of these questions to myself since having my heartbroken again. Now I know that what happened wasn't good for me, and that when you're a hopeless romantic asexual you need someone who is compatible with that. But it doesn't make it hurt any less. Then there's another instrumental part. Bringing us to the second verse: "I know you never said forever, you never made me believe. And the times we spent together, were just things you didn't need. You said, don't wait, I heard, hold on. You said, it's fine, but I was already gone. You said we're friends, I heard, just stay. But you still took my heart away." It hurts how true this part is for me. Then the chorus repeats, and we have the bridge: "I hate you for the way you smiled, and hate myself for my denial. You never lied, but God, you knew. That I would break myself for you. You never said that you were mine, but I was yours the whole damn time. You never lied or led me on, but I still feel it when you're gone." That line about being yours? I felt that deep in my scarred heart. That's what it totally was. The chorus repeats a final time, with no outro. The vocals on this are actually also really good, and I like the raspy tone to his voice in certain sections I think it adds to it. A painfully, heart touching track. That's how I would describe this one. So if you're interested, please go check this out. And the music video too. 

Until next time, happy listening.